Here is a powerful guest post from Erica Torrado.
At times God gives me revelation while I’m writing. As I began writing this post, I had no idea as to why He has been taking me down memory lane lately, but eventually He showed me why. As a kid I carried so much hate and pain. Unfortunately, all I ever remember are mostly the bad things that I went through. It’s not that I don’t want to remember the good, it’s just that there was literally so much pain in my life that it outweighed any good which made it hard to remember.
But God remembers… Around the age of 7, I believe that my step dad gave his life to the Lord and for a short season the sexual abuse stopped. So at around 8 years old I gave myself to Jesus. I remember going to the front of church and asking Jesus to be my Lord. I remember going to Sunday school and feeling such joy. I loved it so much that I use to go home and play Barbies and make Barbie lay hands on Ken and the rest of the dolls and put them on the floor…. I am cracking up as I am writing this. I had no clue why they went down but I remember it happening at church, so I made Barbie do the same.
Another thing God reminded me of is that sometimes when I felt so good at church, I would come home and want to play church. I would set up the chairs and preach to them. I think my little sister was kind enough to play with me and allow me to preach to her along the empty chairs. I would always say that my life was hell on earth as a child. But going to a Spirit filled church made me feel safe. I remember now feeling Jesus as a kid and leaving church with a joy in my heart. It was something I never felt, but I did there. I felt safe and even loved.
I definitely didn’t understand much of anything that happened in church, but I knew that Jesus was real. I would have dreams that I would walk beside Him on streets of gold and He would talk to me. And even though I walked away for years and even cursed God and told Him that I want nothing to do with Him, He remembered those special moments that I experienced with Him. I may not be thankful for much of what my stepdad did, but I am so thankful for a short moment that he made us go to church, whether we liked it or not. That was my safe place. That was where I experienced God’s love, even as a child.
If you don’t have a church I pray that you find one. I pray you find one that allows Holy Spirit to be God and moves freely in the midst of His people. If you have children, my advice is don’t give them an option. They have to go to school, right? So why not make them go to church with you and learn of the love of Jesus? You’re the parent, they are the child. Even though our house was crazy and chaotic, I’m thankful that even in that, my step dad knew that we had to go to church as a family, whether we liked it or not. Unfortunately, we didn’t stay long because he backslid and the abuse started again. However, some seeds were planted in me and I realize now that they took root many years later, and God is always faithful.
One more thing before I end: if you have children, grandchildren, family or friends backsliding, don’t you dare give up on them. I went from cursing God, to witchcraft, satan worshiper and praying prayers asking satan to fill me and use me at 14 years old. And the devil answered those prayers. BUT I had a praying mother who never stopped. I shouldn’t be where I am today, but my mom prayed prayed and prayed. So don’t stop praying, don’t stop believing God and don’t stop speaking God’s word over your family….
Don’t look at the situation in the natural but look at every person with the heart of God and declare His Word over them….HE IS FAITHFUL! Not just to my mom but to you as well.